Keep
Safety, respect, and the values you are prepared to reciprocate.
A kinder dating standards test
What are your dating standards really asking for?
Take three private minutes to separate what you want to hold close, talk through, and stay open about—without a shame score.
- No shame score
- No account
- Built for real conversations
Start the 3-minute map Anonymous by default. Raw answers stay in this browser tab and are never saved to our database.
Hold closeI need to feel safe saying no.
Talk throughWhere could our lives be heading?
Stay openDifferent hobbies can still fit.
A private map for more honest dates.
Dating Standards Test
12 core questions · about 3 private minutes
Start with what feels true today.
No perfect-partner checklist. No personality label. Just a clear map of what to Keep, Discuss, and Flex—with words you can actually use on a date. If you want more nuance afterward, eight extra questions are free and optional.
Your relationship compass
Some things need a boundary. Some need a conversation.
Discuss
Context, tradeoffs, and gaps between what you ask for and offer.
Flex
Preferences that can bend when the relationship remains healthy.
Clear, not mysterious
You’ll always know why something landed where it did.
Boundaries stay close, gaps between what you ask for and offer become conversations, and only everyday preferences can enter Flex.
BOUNDARIES Safety can never enter Flex.
BOTH SIDES Gaps between asking and offering move to Discuss.
EXPLAINED Every result tells you why it landed there.
PRIVATE Answers are calculated in this browser tab.
Read the full methodologySee the difference
The free map is useful before you pay
Explore a clearly fictional example to see how the complete free map becomes one focused conversation, two follow-up questions, response signals, and a seven-day action plan.
Simple pricing
Build your map for free. Pay once when a real conversation matters.
$0
Standards Map
A complete 12-question core map, eight optional free refinements, reasons, watch-outs, conversation prompts, and three next moves.
Start free$15 one-time
Next Conversation Plan
A personal plan for the person you’re dating: the issue to raise next, an exact opener, two follow-up questions, response signals, and what to do afterward.
No subscription, account, or surprise renewal.
Compare bothBefore you begin
Questions worth asking first
Will this tell me if my standards are too high?
No. It helps you separate safety, values, context, and preference so you can make your own decisions without a shame label.
Is this scientifically validated?
No. It is an experimental educational tool with deterministic, published rules. It is not a clinical assessment or prediction of relationship success.
Do you save my answers?
Raw answers stay in sessionStorage in your current tab for up to 24 hours. If you buy the Next Conversation Plan, the app sends Cloudflare Workers AI a minimized brief made from your already-sorted priorities and domain anchors—not raw answers or question IDs—and does not save that brief to our database.
Why can safety items never be Flex?
Consent, autonomy, and freedom from coercion are safety conditions. The tool never reframes them as preferences to trade away.
Does this assume monogamy or marriage?
No. It asks whether relationship structure and future choices are openly named and mutually agreed.
What does the $15 report add?
It identifies the conversation carrying the most timing risk, gives you an exact opener and two follow-up questions, shows what to listen for, and lays out what to do afterward. Two backup scripts, mutuality checks, full-map context, a private supporting pattern reading, and a printable checklist remain available. The free map stays complete on its own.
3 minutes. No account. A map you can deepen.